Hawksmoor, Hawksmoor Hamburger: 7/10

• A well-regarded, up-market British steakhouse, Hawksmoor's flagship burger follows the same traditional, high-end ethos. If you prefer a tidy, refined meal in elegant decor, this famous hamburger and chip combo is right up your street.

Picturesque

• Another establishment where medium-rare is off the menu, the quality of my pink-cooked Longhorn beef patty was evident, but sadly masked due to it's quite dry, solid texture resulting from heavier-than-necessary cooking. A well-publicised and unique Hawksmoor addition, the bone marrow in the patty mix added both noticeable and distinct aroma and taste, delivering strong iron-y, liver-like elements - this ingredient is likely to polarise opinion, depending on your stance on offal!

• You can choose your fromage topping, between Ogleshield cheese or Colston Bassett Stilton. I went with the former, a sort of British melting raclette, which dutifully oozed whilst emitting waves of pungent wafts. Again, a polarising ingredient, given the alternative choice of Stilton doesn't leave much room for those who prefer a subtle cheese!

• The menu description makes no mention of these vegetable accompaniments, but the Hawksmoor Hamburger is topped by a thick tomato disc, sitting on sliced pickles, generous strips of red onion, and cradled by English lettuce. Fresh, but not worthy of further comment:

• Another customisation, there is a choice of sides: Triple Cooked Chips, Beef Dripping Fries, or an English lettuce & Herb Salad (pointless). I chose the fries, quickly regretting this on their arrived: pallid and uninteresting, these fries wholly failed to deliver the greasy, fatty carb-in-salt experience I was anticipating:

Booorriingg.....

• Overall, the Hawksmoor Hamburger is quintessentially British in it's proposition: use of high-quality ingredients, with simple composition, construction, and solid cooking methods. I ate without resistance, but for all it's reputation and hype, this burger was disappointing and truly underwhelmed - traditional doesn't have to mean plain!!

Haché, Haché Cheeseburger: 9.25/10

• Opened in 2004, Haché is a veritable old-timer on the local gourmet scene, established nearly a decade before burgers got trendy. Awarded the accolade of Time Out's 'Best Burger in London' way back in 2005, one might wonder how Haché was standing up to the mass of competition that has literally erupted over the past few years. And the answer is, very well, actually. The pseudo-International concept results in a distinctly unique but successful burger fusion, combining their signature ciabatta buns and steak haché patties made of Scotch beef with a wide range of toppings, from peanut butter, to grilled chorizo, to smoked Bavarian cheese, to guacamole (not altogether, thankfully!). If you want choice without having to sacrifice quality, Haché is it.

• Opting for the flagship cheeseburger cooked medium-rare and choosing an original ciabatta bun option rather than brioche (a later addition to the menu), the grilled 100% prime hachéd 6oz Scotch steak patty smothered with melted mature Cheddar also came with the standard toppings of rocket, tomato and red onion:

Lashings of mustard mayo on the bottom bun - epic

• For the patty snobs, yes it's not dry-aged beef, and yes you can tell it's not dry-aged beef. But the meat is succulent, juicy, with a mildly sweet umami flavour, and addictive in a way that many premium beef patties aren't - this is burger you WANT to be eating, not the burger you want to show-off to your friends that you're eating!

Light textured ciabatta with hint of sourdough complements the sweeter-tasting meat

• Delighted to discover the menu offers frites, sweet potato fries as well as wedges! I went purist, and my Haché Frites were spot-on: slim-cut, golden, with crispy bite and nicely seasoned. In the french fry category Haché definitely are best-in-class:

• Haché's burgers are a hybrid: less prissy than typical gourmet brands, not as dirty as the sloppy offerings, and way classier than US-style chains. Difficult to define, but totally works!

Lucky Chip, Kevin Bacon Burger: 9.5/10

• Originating in 2011 as a legendary street food van trading in a disused car park in East London, Lucky Chip now has permanent sites dotted in the NE of the city, serving up their novelty US-style burgers which still pay homage to Hollywood stars with quirky wordplay. Moreover, Lucky Chip has NAILED the dirty burger, and dirty fries for that matter too, combining gastronomy, wackiness, and red plastic diner baskets to epic effect.

• Kevin Bacon, the signature bacon-cheeseburger, hits every spot - richly juicy aged beef, a blanket of American cheese, Applewood smoked bacon, on a bed of shredded lettuce and pickles, sandwiched by a traditional squidgy-touch bun. On paper pretty standard with a cheap edge, but the eat is truly sensational, with every mouthful an indulgent, oozing carb/meat/grease fest of the highest order:

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• Tempted by the loaded sides, the spicy mayo cheese fries similarly maxes out all health warnings - a spectacular pile of skin-on chips bonded by congealed cheese, smothered by copious amounts of thick cheese-flavoured sauce, and liberally topped with tangy, creamy mayo:

• So Lucky Chip does in fact live up to the hype - don't let the kooky branding fool you, these burgers are seriously impressive, and a real contender for best-in-show. Worth trekking across London for!

Le Bun, Foie Gras and Summer Truffles Cheeseburger: 9.75/10

• Pure, unadulterated carnivorous heaven. This is the epitomy of meat in a bun (with some more meat, meat sauce, and meat enhancing accompaniments).

• Perfectly aged patty, generous slab of foie gras, a bed of carmelised onion jam, truffled beef jus, coated with American cheese and finished with lashings of freshly grated summer truffle shavings.

• The ultimate heavy-weight burger with the sole purpose of smashing your craving into touch, there is no subtlety, no novelty add-on, and no vegetable garnishes - Le Bun, I salute you.

A Burger Powerhouse, not for the faint-hearted or those with a weak/vegetarian disposition

Shake Shack, Shake Stack Burger: 9/10

• An American fast food chain burger experience with a touch of finesse.

• More polished than it's imported rival Five Guys, Shake Shack delivers a fun, slightly cutesy casual dining range with some innovative twists.

• An excellent invention, the 'Shroom Burger is a crisp-fried portobello mushroom filled with melted cheese, and is offered as an add-on to the house cheeseburger to create the best item on the menu, the Shake Stack Burger.

• Unimaginative fries however, crinkle cut with or without cheese.

• Novel range of custard-based drinks and deserts to complete your All-American meal.

Bread Street Kitchen, Short Rib Beef Burger: 8/10

• The patty, which is made up of short rib, chuck and beef fat in a 50:30:20 ratio.

• Solid performing burger from a Gordon Ramsey establishment, though don't expect your mind to be blown.

• Non-patty elements are perfectly fine (brioche bun, Monterey Jack cheese, crunchy mayo dressed veg), but the overall package delivers robust quality, rather than an eating sensation.

• Even if your burger doesn't impress however, the outstanding chips probably will!

Check out these proud potato beauties, triple-cooked to perfection

Bleecker St, Double Cheeseburger: 8.5/10

• Inspired by a NY joint, Bleecker St burgers are the epitomy of simplicity done to a high, US-style standard. The focus is truly just meat, bun, sauce, and cheese.

The infamous black burger truck

• Made from rare-breed British beef, this meat is dry-aged for a staggering FORTY-FIFTY days! Closing in on Hawksmoor steak quality, this is effectively luxury street food, if a touch on the plain side.

• The patty is definitely the star of this show - everyone should try a Bleecker St at least once, but it needed to be jazzier to entice me back for a second!

MEATmarket, Dead Hippie: 9.5/10

• This famed double-patty delight truly lives up to its hype, a universal crowd-pleasing dirty burger.
• Signature Dead Hippie sauce is amazing, with little mustard seeds.
• Minced onion is inspired for texture and a complementary enhancer to the mustard-fried beef.

The Fried Pickle with blue cheese dip side is quirky, but not a substitute for chips

Honest Burgers, Federation Burger: 9/10

• You'll need to order the Federation off-menu, but this 'secret' double-patty version of the house Honest burger is a classic, gastronomic British meat bun.

• The beloved rosemary fries *are* exceptional, almost as much a reason to go as the burger - reliably crispy, sublimely seasoned time-after-time, Honest chips are probably the best in London!

Homemade lemonade in mason jars (what else!)

Patty&Bun, 'ARI GOLD' Cheeseburger: 9/10

• London's trusty, go-to sloppy burger which never fails to deliver that messily satisfying savoury hit.

• Smokey house mayo and pickled onions added to quality base components differentiate the ARI GOLD from a classic cheeseburger.

• Skin-on rosemary salt chips are pleasant, but not mind-blowing (bit too limp for my liking).

• The smoked confit chicken wings, on the other hand, may give your burger a run for it's money.

Bottom burger =  the Special

Top-Left burger = Portobello 'Dig It' Mushroom 

Dirty Burger, Dirty Bacon Burger: 9/10

• Hands-down THE sloppiest burger in London (honestly, just look at it!).

• Nothing revolutionary about the simple set of ingredients used (patties, bacon, mature cheddar, lettuce, tomato, gherkin, mayo), but it just eats really, really well.

• If you need potato with your burger, the crinkle cut fries will suffice, but are instantly forgettable.

• The onion fries however, are the right kind of deep-fried, battered, salty decadence worthy of accompanying the sinful mess of a burger you've ordered.

• Go the whole hog and order a milkshake too - you only live once!

Five Guys, Bacon Cheeseburger: 9/10

• This American import is a cult fast food burger, which you will either passionately love, or vehemently hate!

• Built-to-order with your selection of (free) fresh toppings, from a choice of lettuce, onions, tomatoes, pickles, green peppers, jalapeno peppers, mushrooms, relish, BBQ sauce and other standard condiments.

• You won't find any brioche buns, dry-aged beef, or mature continental cheese at this joint, but Five Guys delivers exactly what you'd expect: a best-in-class, casual dining hamburger.

• Beware/embrace the overly generous Five Guy Style Fries portion size!

Dip & Flip, Dip and Flip Cheeseburger: 9/10

• Cheeseburger meets French Dip! This patty is topped with thinly sliced roast beef or lamb which has been 'dipped' in gravy, and your burger served 'au jus' i.e. a side bowl of extra gravy.

• A glorious bundle dripping with meat juices: West Country beef patty, succulent cut of beef topside, American cheese, cabbage slaw, pickles, French mustard, in a brioche bun.

• This is the burger equivalent of a British gastropub dinner; hearty, lashings of gravy, and comforting.

• Note however, whilst successful in flavour, this is a bone-broth cooking liquor jus, not a rich, dense pouring gravy - I would have preferred a thicker consistency for a dipping sauce.

• For a Canadian twist to your meal there is poutine available, with the added option of bacon and green chillies (!)

Bukowski Charcoal Grill, The Fat Gringo: 8.75/10

• Another American inspired home-grown joint, Bukowski offer chunky, tongue-in-cheek, adventurous grilled burgers, perfect for a hefty blow out comfort meal.

• Their version of a bacon cheeseburger, the Fat Gringo, is composed of a weighty grilled patty, monterey jack cheese, candied bacon, tingly jalapeño mustard, red onions, tomato and lettuce, whilst batons of smoked pickled gerkins are skewered through a glazed bun.

• Hearty and bold in the look and feel, but this eat delivers on quantity rather than quality - a fun and filling experience, but it won't push your burger boundaries.

• What will surprise and delight, however, are the fat hunks of a chip, triple-cooked in beef dripping to epic effect!

Elliot's Café, Elliot's Cheesebuger: 9/10

• This well-known Borough Market café offers a 'Modern British' burger, with a memorable oozy garlic butter-soaked bun, enhanced by melted Comté dribbling over a rich, meaty patty.
• Accompaniment of fried Maris Piper potato slices as chip alternative.

Mother Flipper, The Candy Bacon Special: 9/10

• Perfect candied bacon umami (as expected!), complemented by oozing cheesy goodness.

• Innovative shoestring fry topping, deliciously crunchy and salty.

Goodman Restaurant, Goodman Burger: 8/10

• The luxury end of the burger market with prices to match (!), you can expect exceptional patty quality in a fine dining environment.
• Traditional yet classy burger, free of
  gimmicks or modern twists.
• Splash out on the lobster mac and cheese, or the truffle and parmesan version.

The Diner, The Diablo: 7/10

• You're starving, you need a massive protein hit, and quite frankly, quality takes a backseat to quantity! The Diner's signature burger sorts you out with it's 8 oz. patty, loaded with streaky bacon, thick US cheese and chunky bun. 

• The usual suspects topping-wise (sliced pickles, red onion, beef tomato, lettuce) plus the special Diablo burger sauce (basically chutney). Standard french fries.

• A decent chain offering, comparable to Burger Craft rather than Five Guys - convenient and satisfying!

MEATliquor, Dead Hippie: 9/10

• Whilst this double-patty burger does live up to the hype, I found the Dead Hippie at MEATliquor lacked the full punch compared to the one at MEATmarket - probably a one-off, but to explain why I gave lower marks for technically the same burger!

• The signature Dead Hippie sauce is still amazing, with little mustard seeds.

• Whilst the minced onion is still inspired, providing texture and a complementary enhancer to the mustard-fried beef.

Side of Dead Hippie fries and a Philly Cheese Steak (blaming MEATliquor's OTT dungeon-style lighting for abysmal photo quality)