Big Fernand, Le Bartholomé: 9.5/10

• Originating in Paris, the Big Fernand concept took traditional US-style burgers and gave them a big ol' French twist. Not content with continental success, the brand's expansion to London means we can now enjoy the Gallic interpretation of an American fast-food burger. A touch confusing, but forget it's provenance - this eats like a refined, European dirty burger, and it's GREAT!

• With five house burgers including chicken, lamb, veal and veggie options, as well as five cooking options from blue to well done, you're really spoilt for choice here (menu).

• Le Bartholomé, the bacon cheeseburger equivalent, is a glorious feast of rich, savoury flavours that meld together to create bite after bite of meaty gratification:

Dry-aged beef, Raclette cheese, smoked streaky bacon, carmelised onion,
chives and cocktail sauce = HEAVEN

• With an unusually flat and wide structure, each mouthful is noticeably soft and juicy, with bursts of tender beefiness, pungent cheese, sticky onion jam, salty bacon, tangy sauce and fresh herbs, sandwiched between a traditional white seeded bun (no brioche, surprisingly!):

• French chips are the only side offered ('La Salade' does not count in any country). Ironically neither French nor American in style, these are basically English chips with a heavy dousing of 'homemade' seasoning. Nothing to write home about, unless you similarly harbour a penchant for creamy dips - the house mayo is truly *unctuous*:

• If you want high-quality burger gastronomy but without super-fancy ambience or prices, Big Fernand is made for you!

Happy Customer!

Flat Iron, Béarnaise Burger: 9.85/10

• This previous pop-up steakhouse may be best known for it's flagship £10 flat iron steak & salad, but it regularly offers specials based on what fresh meat is in. The Béarnaise Burger special is SENSATIONAL, currently my top ranked gourmet burger in London!

• The meat: made from a beer-fed Dexter Cow, the single patty has a coarsely ground texture dotted with succulent pearls of fat. The is deep-friend in beef fat, producing a charred, crispy dark external crust, but leave the inside perfectly medium-rare, tender and juicy:

Ominously dark and foreboding at first

• The rest: simply accompanied by a glistening cascade of classic béarnaise sauce and diced shallots to showcase the outstanding meat. Ultra-creamy, lusciously rich and golden, the buttery texture, aromatic flecks of tarragon with subtle tang of vinegar makes the sauce sublime on it's own, and exceptional with the patty:

Sliced open to reveal the moist, pink meat morcels

• Only minor complaint: the St. John bakery bun is crusty and seeded with fresh brioche taste, if not perhaps a slight dry texture. Whilst sturdy, the volume of top bun is noticeably excessive - you may need to trim off break filling to achieve the optimum bun:patty ratio!

• Chips: dripping-cooked, acceptable but underwhelming. Disappointedly reminiscent of a poorer relation to McDonald french fries:

Meh

• If you like steak, béarnaise sauce and brioche then congratulations, you've just found your perfect burger!!

Burger Craft, The Juicy Bastard: 7.5/10

Happy Days :)

• A relatively new burger brand pop-up available in four permanent locations at time of writing, the Burger Craft proposition is cheeky pub grub to accompany beer & Sky Sports, but with a nod to the gourmet movement. So we're talking 28 day dry-aged Wiltshire beef, brioche buns, duck eggs, stilton and lamb lettuce, but completely free of edgy hipster pretentiousness.

• Their signature offering, the Juicy Bastard, with it's double pattied, double cheesed (that's FOUR slices), lettuced, tomatoed and smokey BBQ sauced composition, definitely qualifies as a dirty burger:

Sloppy enough for ya?!

• As someone who can't enjoy meat if it's not medium-rare, the default Burger Craft cooking of pink (medium) did, unfortunately, compromise my experience. The quality of ingredients however, and the sheer quantity of condiments did go some way to compensate. Do note though that the bottom bun *will* bail half-way through your meal from total sauce saturation!

• Special mention re. sides: your burger automatically comes with either fries or HASH BROWNS (London doesn't need any more rosemary chips):

Hallelujah!! A viable alternative to chips
& onion rings

• The hand-cut fries themselves are fairly non-descript, however these can be jazzed up to become 'Hot & Dirty fries', through choice additions of fiery chipotle, jalapeños, blue cheese, and even pulled pork flavoured with cider hot sauce.

• If you come across Burger Craft, give it a go - a range of thoughtfully designed eats for a satisfying feed down the pub.

Kua 'Aina, Avocado and Bacon Hamburger: 7/10

Originating in Hawaii's North Shore in 1975, this burger and sandwich joint promotes it's hot lava rock grills, a cooking method which produces a flavourful, clean meat. If there was a 'healthy' end of the burger scale, this would be it. The real differentiator however, is the strong retro branding, a summery, tropical surfer vibe which runs throughout the shack-themed menu and décor. Oh, and it's Obama's favourite restaurant when he's back in his native Hawaii - may or may not appeal! 

Good enough for the President

• Plumping for the larger half-pound patty vs 1/3lb cooked medium-rare topped with avocado and bacon, all Kua 'Aina burgers come with tomato, lettuce, grilled onion, mayo on a white-seeded burger bun: 

And a random carrot

• The hyped-up lava-grilled patty is a 100% premium cut grass-fed West Country beef burger. You can taste the quality, but it lacks the depth of flavour that you'd get from multi-day aged-beef (which features in several previous reviews - maybe Burgerite is just spoiled now!!). Moreover, the low-fat, low-smoke result that the lava-grill is known for certainly makes for a healthier burger, but feels somewhat self-defeating. After all, what is a burger without grease and charring?! 

• Good news on the sides, Kua 'Aina serve excellent sweet potato fries! Slim-cut, deliciously caramelised in flavour with the optimal crisp bite with a slight inner chew, these were delectably moreish.

• Don't go to Kua 'Aina for an indulgent burger treat; you will feel cheated. But check it out for its exotic island ambience, because you're curious about Obama's food tastes, or you're a burger fiend on a diet!!

Hawksmoor, Hawksmoor Hamburger: 7/10

• A well-regarded, up-market British steakhouse, Hawksmoor's flagship burger follows the same traditional, high-end ethos. If you prefer a tidy, refined meal in elegant decor, this famous hamburger and chip combo is right up your street.

Picturesque

• Another establishment where medium-rare is off the menu, the quality of my pink-cooked Longhorn beef patty was evident, but sadly masked due to it's quite dry, solid texture resulting from heavier-than-necessary cooking. A well-publicised and unique Hawksmoor addition, the bone marrow in the patty mix added both noticeable and distinct aroma and taste, delivering strong iron-y, liver-like elements - this ingredient is likely to polarise opinion, depending on your stance on offal!

• You can choose your fromage topping, between Ogleshield cheese or Colston Bassett Stilton. I went with the former, a sort of British melting raclette, which dutifully oozed whilst emitting waves of pungent wafts. Again, a polarising ingredient, given the alternative choice of Stilton doesn't leave much room for those who prefer a subtle cheese!

• The menu description makes no mention of these vegetable accompaniments, but the Hawksmoor Hamburger is topped by a thick tomato disc, sitting on sliced pickles, generous strips of red onion, and cradled by English lettuce. Fresh, but not worthy of further comment:

• Another customisation, there is a choice of sides: Triple Cooked Chips, Beef Dripping Fries, or an English lettuce & Herb Salad (pointless). I chose the fries, quickly regretting this on their arrived: pallid and uninteresting, these fries wholly failed to deliver the greasy, fatty carb-in-salt experience I was anticipating:

Booorriingg.....

• Overall, the Hawksmoor Hamburger is quintessentially British in it's proposition: use of high-quality ingredients, with simple composition, construction, and solid cooking methods. I ate without resistance, but for all it's reputation and hype, this burger was disappointing and truly underwhelmed - traditional doesn't have to mean plain!!

Haché, Haché Cheeseburger: 9.25/10

• Opened in 2004, Haché is a veritable old-timer on the local gourmet scene, established nearly a decade before burgers got trendy. Awarded the accolade of Time Out's 'Best Burger in London' way back in 2005, one might wonder how Haché was standing up to the mass of competition that has literally erupted over the past few years. And the answer is, very well, actually. The pseudo-International concept results in a distinctly unique but successful burger fusion, combining their signature ciabatta buns and steak haché patties made of Scotch beef with a wide range of toppings, from peanut butter, to grilled chorizo, to smoked Bavarian cheese, to guacamole (not altogether, thankfully!). If you want choice without having to sacrifice quality, Haché is it.

• Opting for the flagship cheeseburger cooked medium-rare and choosing an original ciabatta bun option rather than brioche (a later addition to the menu), the grilled 100% prime hachéd 6oz Scotch steak patty smothered with melted mature Cheddar also came with the standard toppings of rocket, tomato and red onion:

Lashings of mustard mayo on the bottom bun - epic

• For the patty snobs, yes it's not dry-aged beef, and yes you can tell it's not dry-aged beef. But the meat is succulent, juicy, with a mildly sweet umami flavour, and addictive in a way that many premium beef patties aren't - this is burger you WANT to be eating, not the burger you want to show-off to your friends that you're eating!

Light textured ciabatta with hint of sourdough complements the sweeter-tasting meat

• Delighted to discover the menu offers frites, sweet potato fries as well as wedges! I went purist, and my Haché Frites were spot-on: slim-cut, golden, with crispy bite and nicely seasoned. In the french fry category Haché definitely are best-in-class:

• Haché's burgers are a hybrid: less prissy than typical gourmet brands, not as dirty as the sloppy offerings, and way classier than US-style chains. Difficult to define, but totally works!

Lucky Chip, Kevin Bacon Burger: 9.5/10

• Originating in 2011 as a legendary street food van trading in a disused car park in East London, Lucky Chip now has permanent sites dotted in the NE of the city, serving up their novelty US-style burgers which still pay homage to Hollywood stars with quirky wordplay. Moreover, Lucky Chip has NAILED the dirty burger, and dirty fries for that matter too, combining gastronomy, wackiness, and red plastic diner baskets to epic effect.

• Kevin Bacon, the signature bacon-cheeseburger, hits every spot - richly juicy aged beef, a blanket of American cheese, Applewood smoked bacon, on a bed of shredded lettuce and pickles, sandwiched by a traditional squidgy-touch bun. On paper pretty standard with a cheap edge, but the eat is truly sensational, with every mouthful an indulgent, oozing carb/meat/grease fest of the highest order:

.

• Tempted by the loaded sides, the spicy mayo cheese fries similarly maxes out all health warnings - a spectacular pile of skin-on chips bonded by congealed cheese, smothered by copious amounts of thick cheese-flavoured sauce, and liberally topped with tangy, creamy mayo:

• So Lucky Chip does in fact live up to the hype - don't let the kooky branding fool you, these burgers are seriously impressive, and a real contender for best-in-show. Worth trekking across London for!

Le Bun, Foie Gras and Summer Truffles Cheeseburger: 9.75/10

• Pure, unadulterated carnivorous heaven. This is the epitomy of meat in a bun (with some more meat, meat sauce, and meat enhancing accompaniments).

• Perfectly aged patty, generous slab of foie gras, a bed of carmelised onion jam, truffled beef jus, coated with American cheese and finished with lashings of freshly grated summer truffle shavings.

• The ultimate heavy-weight burger with the sole purpose of smashing your craving into touch, there is no subtlety, no novelty add-on, and no vegetable garnishes - Le Bun, I salute you.

A Burger Powerhouse, not for the faint-hearted or those with a weak/vegetarian disposition

Shake Shack, Shake Stack Burger: 9/10

• An American fast food chain burger experience with a touch of finesse.

• More polished than it's imported rival Five Guys, Shake Shack delivers a fun, slightly cutesy casual dining range with some innovative twists.

• An excellent invention, the 'Shroom Burger is a crisp-fried portobello mushroom filled with melted cheese, and is offered as an add-on to the house cheeseburger to create the best item on the menu, the Shake Stack Burger.

• Unimaginative fries however, crinkle cut with or without cheese.

• Novel range of custard-based drinks and deserts to complete your All-American meal.

Bread Street Kitchen, Short Rib Beef Burger: 8/10

• The patty, which is made up of short rib, chuck and beef fat in a 50:30:20 ratio.

• Solid performing burger from a Gordon Ramsey establishment, though don't expect your mind to be blown.

• Non-patty elements are perfectly fine (brioche bun, Monterey Jack cheese, crunchy mayo dressed veg), but the overall package delivers robust quality, rather than an eating sensation.

• Even if your burger doesn't impress however, the outstanding chips probably will!

Check out these proud potato beauties, triple-cooked to perfection

Bleecker St, Double Cheeseburger: 8.5/10

• Inspired by a NY joint, Bleecker St burgers are the epitomy of simplicity done to a high, US-style standard. The focus is truly just meat, bun, sauce, and cheese.

The infamous black burger truck

• Made from rare-breed British beef, this meat is dry-aged for a staggering FORTY-FIFTY days! Closing in on Hawksmoor steak quality, this is effectively luxury street food, if a touch on the plain side.

• The patty is definitely the star of this show - everyone should try a Bleecker St at least once, but it needed to be jazzier to entice me back for a second!

MEATmarket, Dead Hippie: 9.5/10

• This famed double-patty delight truly lives up to its hype, a universal crowd-pleasing dirty burger.
• Signature Dead Hippie sauce is amazing, with little mustard seeds.
• Minced onion is inspired for texture and a complementary enhancer to the mustard-fried beef.

The Fried Pickle with blue cheese dip side is quirky, but not a substitute for chips

Honest Burgers, Federation Burger: 9/10

• You'll need to order the Federation off-menu, but this 'secret' double-patty version of the house Honest burger is a classic, gastronomic British meat bun.

• The beloved rosemary fries *are* exceptional, almost as much a reason to go as the burger - reliably crispy, sublimely seasoned time-after-time, Honest chips are probably the best in London!

Homemade lemonade in mason jars (what else!)

Patty&Bun, 'ARI GOLD' Cheeseburger: 9/10

• London's trusty, go-to sloppy burger which never fails to deliver that messily satisfying savoury hit.

• Smokey house mayo and pickled onions added to quality base components differentiate the ARI GOLD from a classic cheeseburger.

• Skin-on rosemary salt chips are pleasant, but not mind-blowing (bit too limp for my liking).

• The smoked confit chicken wings, on the other hand, may give your burger a run for it's money.

Bottom burger =  the Special

Top-Left burger = Portobello 'Dig It' Mushroom 

Dirty Burger, Dirty Bacon Burger: 9/10

• Hands-down THE sloppiest burger in London (honestly, just look at it!).

• Nothing revolutionary about the simple set of ingredients used (patties, bacon, mature cheddar, lettuce, tomato, gherkin, mayo), but it just eats really, really well.

• If you need potato with your burger, the crinkle cut fries will suffice, but are instantly forgettable.

• The onion fries however, are the right kind of deep-fried, battered, salty decadence worthy of accompanying the sinful mess of a burger you've ordered.

• Go the whole hog and order a milkshake too - you only live once!

Five Guys, Bacon Cheeseburger: 9/10

• This American import is a cult fast food burger, which you will either passionately love, or vehemently hate!

• Built-to-order with your selection of (free) fresh toppings, from a choice of lettuce, onions, tomatoes, pickles, green peppers, jalapeno peppers, mushrooms, relish, BBQ sauce and other standard condiments.

• You won't find any brioche buns, dry-aged beef, or mature continental cheese at this joint, but Five Guys delivers exactly what you'd expect: a best-in-class, casual dining hamburger.

• Beware/embrace the overly generous Five Guy Style Fries portion size!